


Solidarity, Am I Right?

by emeraldcitydowntowngirl



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Based on a Tumblr Post, M/M, Menstruation mention, its cute please read my trash, patrick is super awkward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5829346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldcitydowntowngirl/pseuds/emeraldcitydowntowngirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based off this text post- “i temporarily fall in love with like any guy that’s nice to me at all like the checkout guy at CVS told me to “stay dry” this morning bc it was raining and i thought about him for like 2 hours after that”</p><p>(OR: Patrick's a great friend, Pete's a cashier who rocks red bangs and eyeliner, and they bond over David Bowie, Doritos and more)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Solidarity, Am I Right?

**Author's Note:**

> i couldnt think of a title so thsi is what i came up with after 20 minutes  
> also this took me really long to write mostly bc i was jamming to "wanna be startin' somethin'" the entire time

Patrick’s morning didn’t start off so hot. Unless you call buying tampons and pads for your menstruating best friend a good start to your mornings.

“Patrick! C’mon, please? You know I’m usually always prepared for this kind of stuff! If you do this for me, you won’t have to hear about my uterine lining breaking and traveling out my vagina” His best friend Hayley pleads, from her spot on the couch, lying in an abnormal position. Even if Patrick had nothing in the world, he still had Hayley to tell him _all_ about the wonders of menstruation

“I was gonna do it anyways, geez. What kind of… stuff do you need?” He asks, as she groans, lifting herself of the couch, paddling off to the bathroom “Give me a second!”

He peers out the window as he waits- it’s drizzling outside, and it’s 6 in the morning. The sun is just rising, and it’s beautiful (he guesses) but… it’s much too early for him to want to do anything, much less run down to CVS. But, Patrick kind of feels really bad for Hayley- she’s his best friend and he knows (from her very detailed accounts) how painful these couple of days can be for her, and, well, it’s the least he can do. He doesn’t have to deal with a bloody mess in his boxers, anyways.

“Can you just pick up some regular Tampax pearls? And some overnight pads? They’re the ones that look like this” She thrusts some empty plastic packaging in Patrick’s hands. “I owe you my entire life, man. I would go but… ugh… cramps… blood… need Advil” She says as Patrick ushers her back to the couch, shushing her.

“I know, I know. Here, you lie on the couch and watch ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ and I’ll be back in 30 minutes, promise”

“I love you” She sighs contently, settling into the couch cushions, and Patrick just ruffles her hair. “Love you too, Little Red. Wait… I don’t like that nickname anymore” He was referring to her dyed, fire-engine hair, but now he can’t stop thinking about blood. She laughs, hearty and loud, and reaches up to pinch his cheeks “Thank you!”

* * *

So, Patrick can’t find his umbrella, so he decides to just go out in the first hat he found- “I Love Bingo” is on the front of this one. Patrick doesn’t even think that hat is his, but it does the job… sort of.

Because Patrick’s hair still gets wet, and his face is dripping with the rain water. Plus, his jeans are sticking to his thighs, and his jacket doesn’t make him feel any warmer. But still, he makes it to CVS in one piece, almost moaning when he feels the hot air rushing through the vents of the store.

It’s early enough for no one to be here, besides the cashier, so he just takes time to stroll, his headphones in.  He strums his fingers on his damp jeans, humming “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” by Michael Jackson, and walks over to the ‘Feminine Care’ section (something Patrick will never get, because technically can’t dudes with vaginas menstruate too? Whatever)

He pulls the plastic that Hayley gave to him and glances over the products on the shelves, tons of neon colors and scary words like “Toxic Shock Syndrome” on boxes. He nods his head to his music and mouths lyrics (because “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” is sort of his favorite MJ song, no matter how popular it might be), and he overall looks like an idiot, so much that someone taps on his shoulder.

Patrick jumps slightly at the touch and looks up to an amused employee supporting red bangs and eyeliner “Hey, do you need any help finding anything?” He shakes his head quickly, still startled from the touch. His music is blaring from his headphones, and the employee (his name tag reads ‘Pete’) blinks at him, before grinning, and walking away. “Alright, I’ll be at the counter if you need me”

His heart starts beating really fast, and he hastily shoves his headphones back in his ears, lowering the volume a little. Because if there’s one thing worse than people catching you in the middle of jamming to music, it’s having _hot_ people catching you in the middle of jamming to music. Patrick’s sort of into guys in eyeliner- he blames it on My Chemical Romance just a little.

He picks up Hayley’s products, and a bag of his favorite chips, and he wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, but he hides behind a shelf of kids toys to watch the cash registers. It’s only the one guy there (the one who tapped Patrick’s shoulder) and he’s flipping through a magazine, yawning. And since Patrick’s already too deep in this, and because Hayley’s probably crying in their apartment because of the Cramps™ , he slowly makes his way to the counter, taking his headphones off and placing the tampons, pads, and a bag of Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos in front of Pete.

“Hey” Pete tears his eyes away from the magazine, and puts it down. He’s got on a straight face, but when he sees it’s Patrick, he grins, enjoying the way that Patrick blushes and slouches down. So embarrassing.

“You’re a great boyfriend, y’know, doing this and all” Pete says conversationally, scanning the tampons. Patrick shakes his head, his face turning impossibly redder “Oh! No, I’m not… uh…” Pete raises his eyebrows, the tampons still in his hands “She’s not my girlfriend. I’m. Kind of, um… not playing for that team” Patrick eventually spits out, wincing as he looks into Pete’s eyes. He knows that, technically, there’s only so much Pete could do to him while he’s still working, but Pete just nods. “Oh, cool. I’m bisexual, so. Solidarity, am I right?” He smiles down at Patrick for what seems like the fifth time since they met, and it’s really lame, but Patrick really kind of likes this guy’s smile (even if his teeth take up like half of his face)

“Yeah, I guess” Patrick says quietly, smiling to himself, his fingers going back to nervously drumming against his damp jeans again. So he might have a chance with this guy, if he doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend already?

“You love Bingo?” Pete asks, pointing to Patrick’s wet hat, as he places Patrick’s items in a plastic bag.

“Not really. I kind of, like, took the first hat I could find” Patrick pulls the hat lower over his eyes, and Pete hums “Oh, gotcha. It’s really bad out there” Patrick hands over his credit card, and Pete swipes it before handing it back. Their fingers touch for a second, and Patrick giggles nervously “Sure is” Pete hands him his bag back and says “Well, I hope you have a good day. Stay dry!” He gives him another smile, and Patrick smiles back, his heart beating so hard it might _actually_ burst out of his chest. “Y-you too! Bye!” He squeaks, speed walking out of the door with the plastic bag

* * *

 

“He was so cute” Patrick whines, before bringing the dorito bag to his mouth to drop the crumbs in. Hayley, from the other side of the kitchen table, rolls her eyes. She had a hot water bottle pressed to her abdomen, and she’s eating Nutella with some cut up bananas.

“Patrick! You talked to him for, like, a minute! Does he even know your name?” Patrick brings the bag of chips down and gives her a horrified expression. _He didn’t even tell Pete his name._

“No! I was so nervous, I forgot! But Hayley, you just had to see him, okay, first he was like-“ Patrick drops his voice down an octave –“’oh I’m a bisexual! Haha, solidarity!’” He brings his voice back up to how he normally sounds “And I’m like ‘Oh my god, kill me!’ and he was so attractive and he has these red bangs, and he was like-“ He drops his voice down again “-‘Stay dry!’” And then he brings it back up “And I was like, in my head, ‘Wow! Penetrate my asshole!’”

Hayley scrunches her face up “Ew! T-M-I, my guy. Anyways, this always happens with you! No offense, but Patrick. Come on. You dated Jon from Target because he gave you discount. For a sale! That was meant for everyone!” Patrick frowns “It was nice, okay?! I didn’t know there was a sale!” Hayley sighs, before reaching her hand over the kitchen table to rest on top of Patrick’s hand “Alright.  But I don’t know anyone named Pete, so how are you going to pursue this? Are you going to go down to CVS every morning in hopes that Pete notices you?”

Patrick’s expression brightens “That’s perfect! Thank you!” Hayley just shakes her head, bringing a hand up to her forehead. “Oh my god”

* * *

The next morning, around 7, Patrick walks into the CVS with $5 and a Bowie tee-shirt on. It’s not a far stretch from what he’d usually wear, because he has to be at his job at the record shop at 8, but he wore it to see what Pete would say about it. Because Patrick doesn’t really mind if people don’t like Bowie that much, but there’s a huge difference between not liking an artist and downright hating them.

He sees Pete at the registers again, leafing through yet another magazine, and he takes a deep breath to steady himself. He grabs another bag of the Spicy Sweet Doritos and walks up the counter with a determined look on his face.

“Hey, it’s you again!” Pete greets him, and Patrick gives him a small wave “Hi”

He tries not to blush when Pete’s eyes scan over his body really quick “I like your shirt. Bowie’s the fuckin’ dude. Was the fuckin’ dude? I don’t know. I don’t like thinking about dead people in the past tense” He says in one breath, before wincing “Sorry, I probably shouldn’t cursing on the job”

_Bingo!_

“That’s okay, I don’t mind. And I know, right? I was Ziggy Stardust for Halloween for, like, 4 years in a row” Patrick shrugs, and Pete laughs, scanning the bag of Doritos “Sounds awesome, man” Patrick hands him the $5 bill, and Pete throws the bag and the change in a plastic bag

“My name is Patrick!” Patrick blurts out, and Pete hands back the bag with a raised eyebrow “That’s cool, I’m Pete” He points to his name tag, before giving Patrick one of his famous grins “Have a good day, Patrick!”

Patrick almost faints right and then, but he just waves and rushes out.

* * *

“You should buy a vibrator. Let him know you’re horny and lonely” Vicky suggests, as Patrick shakes his head, rearranging CDs on the selves. “I’d rather die than do that, oh my god, he’d think I’m crazy” Vicky just shrugs “Whatever. You don’t even know if he’s single, Patrick”

“Who’s single?” Andy asks from his spot at the cash register. His feet are up on the counter and he’s texting on his phone, but he looks up at any sign of drama- Usually he isn’t into anything drama related, but working _and_ attending college just puts a damper on people’s social lives.

“This guy from CVS who I like” Patrick sighs dreamily, as Vicky rolls her eyes “Patrick, this is pathetic, you’ve said about what? 10 words to him in total?”

“I know a guy who works at CVS. He’s in my band” Andy shrugs as Patrick motions for him to continue. “His name is Pete, he’s got-“ “Andy. Holy shit. That’s him!” Patrick rushes to shake Andy’s shoulders, much to Andy’s dismay “Ow!”

“Andy! Is Pete single?! Do you think I have a chance?” “First off, please take your hands off of my shoulders” Patrick does just that, and Andy sighs “Well, Pete is always on and off with his girlfriend, but I think they’re off right now. So you might want to hurry with that. Do you want me to say anything to him?” Patrick shrugs “Nah, that’d be kind of creepy, wouldn’t it?” Andy shakes his head, but Vicky nods from behind Patrick “Kind of stalkerish”

Patrick rolls his eyes- it’s so not ‘stalkerish’.

* * *

 

The next day, right before work, Patrick walks in to grab his bag of Doritos.  But today’s he’s not really “dressed up” because he woke up late, and instead, he’s rocking a worn-out hoodie and some dirty denim jeans. He yawns as he grabs the familiar bag, and he strolls to the register, where Pete is already waiting for him- he's a little more confident now that he knows that Pete is single right now.

“Dude. I know I shouldn’t be quote unquote chasing away customers, but how do you like these chips? They smell like piss” Pete greets him, taking the bag from Patrick’s hands. Patrick gasps “What the hell?! They’re so good” Pete shrugs “I don’t know, the normal red ones taste like ten times better” He scans the chips, and hands them back to Patrick, who open the bag on the spot- there are no other customers around, so he doesn’t feel so bad doing it.

“Take one and taste it. You can’t base your opinion on the best chips solely on how they smell” He reaches in the bag and pulls out a full dorito, before handing it to a reluctant looking Pete. “They smell bad!” “Pete!”

Pete makes a face at the dorito before bringing it to his mouth to take a bite out of it. He hums, shrugging before shoving the rest of the chip in his mouth and saying with his mouth full “Okay, not bad. But the regular ones are better” Patrick narrows his eyes at Pete playfully “You’re just saying that because you don’t want to admit how long you’ve denied yourself the goodness of Spicy Sweet Doritos. Anyways, how much?” Pete shakes his head, pulling out his wallet “On the house, it’s cool”

“On the house? Are you sure?” Patrick bites into another chip with raised eyebrows, watching as Pete nods “On the house. You can pay me back later, if you want? We can go to the movies, or something” Pete trails off, and Patrick tries to hide how big his grin is “Oh, really?” “Really. Only if you wanna, I mean… it’s cool if you don’t, but…” “Dude, shut up. Give me your number, I’ll call you later” Pete laughs breathlessly, before taking out a pen “Awesome!”

In the end, Patrick’d probably have to thank Hayley and her menstruating vagina for this wonderful gift of an emo boyfriend who likes Spicy Nacho Doritos more than Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos (but we all know there’s a difference between not liking a certain tortilla chip and downright hating said tortilla chip)

**Author's Note:**

> YIKES it started off good and then! idk what happened
> 
> also fight me spicy sweet doritos are the best :'(


End file.
